Day 1: Introduction and Recent Photo

Introduction and Recent Photo

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I’m 21, 22 in a week, and I’ve lived an emotionally rough life. I have had many important men walk in and out of my life like a revolving door. It is a full time job pretending it doesn’t bother me. I am a child of divorce, twice. I am a girl with daddy issues. I’ve been so deeply depressed that I thought about driving away and never being seen again. I’ve been cheated on and disappointed.  I’ve had a child with an unknown life expectancy. I have been a military spouse and survived 2 deployments. I have had a high school sweet heart and people who thought we were ridiculous with no chance. I have been to state for power lifting. I have been fit and muscular and I have been fat and embarrassed. Every day my heart struggles. Every day my mind is a mess and most of the time my house shows it. I’ve put on a fake smile for years and still going strong, I guess. I  have filled these voids with dreams. I can’t make people want to be in my life but I can control my hopes and my dreams. I dream to see the world…and I will. I want to live every moment out loud. I want my kids to know anything is possible. At the end of the day, you are the only person you can count on. You are the only person you can control. I want to be more than just a name. Rather than getting fulfillment out of people and relationships, I get them out of accomplishing a dream or a goal. It is self fulfillment. I have been laughed at for my dreams being so big. I think people are actually afraid I might escape this town and leave them behind. I’ve been told I can’t live my dreams while I have kids. I can’t do it because I am married. I can’t do it because we have bills to pay. I write this blog as an outlet, to show people that life is possible, and for people to know the real me-the one behind the smile. I have a bigger purpose in life and I’m out to find what it is. Follow my blog as I follow my dreams.

{Pilgrim On The Run}

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